Hot in the Lot
Christian Holmes’ 1981 Mercedes-Benz Sings Whiles It Works
NEIRAD enilno edition
Do you hear that noise? Is it the school bus? Is it the Pepsi delivery man on his way to the Puritan? Is the Army mobilizing --do I hear a tank? Ohhh, ok. I see. It’s just senior Christian Holmes in his 1981 Mercedes-Benz 300d.
Darien, more so than most towns on this planet, is familiar with luxury German vehicles. Beamers, Benzes, and Audis are easily more common than Ford F-series trucks, Chevy Silverados, and Toyota Camrys (The three most purchased cars in the United States). Even with this abundance of luxury sedans, few are like Christian’s.
The 300d was produced between 1975 and 1985. It is comparable to today’s E-series, in between flagship and entry-level models. It is long, low, and sturdy-looking, affectionately called by friends a “tank” and a “brick.” This stocky frame is powered by a five-cylinder diesel engine with around 85 horsepower.
300ds have a few undeniable characteristics. As The New York Times put it, these machines are, “notoriously slow and loud.” With as much curb weight as most modern cars and a fraction of the horsepower, this Mercedes takes its sweet time.
An added bonus, it sings while it works. The noise the 300d produces is a gurgle, a growl, somewhat like a rock going through a washing machine. (Click on the video to hear it for yourself!) However you describe it, the endearing tone is utterly unique and instantly recognizable among the vehicles that park at 80 High School Lane.
A third characteristic would have to be reliability. According to Wikipedia (so don’t hold me to this fact), 75 percent of all 300ds registered are still on the road, that is 25 years later. Christian’s model, at 29 years of age, is older than some employees of the Darien school system, and even with its approximately 183,400 miles, it shows no signs of giving up anytime soon.
How does a posh retro cruiser like this classic car end up in a high schooler’s driveway? The story of this particular 300d begins in Beverly Hills, where the Mercedes was owned by a family friend. In 1997, the car was driven cross country to a parking lot in Manhattan, where it resided for about 11 years. Last summer, Christian rescued the car from its dusty retirement home, giving it a second lease on life. As he said, it was, “convenient.”
The arrangement has proved not only convenient, but all-around phenomenal. “Sometimes, it has trouble starting in the morning,” Christian said, “but otherwise it runs great.” The seats are still nice and plush, the stereo/radio still pumps out tunes, and the car gets great mileage. With a simply voluminous trunk and plenty of hip room in the seating area, what more could a driver want?
Looking forward, Christian sees himself keeping this car for awhile. Depending on whether he ends up at an urban or more rural college campus, the Mercedes may venture out of Darien or wait patiently on the quiet street of Patricia Lane for his return. Either way, this steady vehicle with a national cult following will continue to rumble into a future.
