“My team is one of the best butterfly catching teams in the world. The impressive agility, hand-eye coordination, and leaping skills of these fine men cause me to have no doubts about our success this year.”
Bolton has become a master at team butterfly catching, and has devised numerous strategies to ensure victory against any competitive team. The group of catchers he has recruited for the team is remarkable, giving Bolton complete confidence in an undefeated season.
“My team is one of the best butterfly catching teams in the world. The impressive agility, hand-eye coordination, and leaping skills of these fine men cause me to have no doubts about our success this year,” Bolton exclaimed as he showed a gratified smile.
John Bolton is the #1 player, as he has been playing ever since he could pick up a net, however the rest of the team is not far behind. Andrew Bay is the #2 player, who only picked up the sport when the team was founded, but became an immediate champion. “I don’t know how, but I can spot butterflies from miles away and can smell them from kilometers away. I guess I was born to catch those flies,” Bay said. The #3 player is Matt Gorski, who declined to comment on his butterfly catching abilities. #4 is James Geddes, also known as Fridge, who is purely business when it comes to catching butterflies. The last, but in some respects, the most important player on this team, is Nick Joosten. He is lightning fast, and although he only averages 12 catches each round, he always comes up with 15 or more when the team is struggling.
The DHS Butterfly Catching Team is off to a great start. They swept Staples in their first match and then defeated Greenwich 4-1 in match-ups. Bolton and the rest of the team are always looking for new members, and are ready to start a JV team. If interested, contact John Bolton at butterflyman@hotman.com or come to the practice at Waveny this coming Sunday morning.
The team has one announcement in hopes of recruiting DHS players:
Butterflies are the way of the future: Come catch them!
DHS's Newest Team
The Butterfly Catchers
By Britt Gordon - 04/09
NEIRAD enilno edition | printer friendly
*Disclaimer: This is an April Fools article
Ever since he was a young boy, John Bolton dreamed of being a professional butterfly catcher. Unfortunately, no such occupation exists, however Bolton is determined to make it one. He has begun to follow his dream by starting The Butterfly Catching Team here at our very own Darien High School. The team has only been in action for a few weeks; however they are off to a promising start. As captain of this intense team, Bolton expects success and is working hard to make that happen.
“I started this team because I love the sport of catching butterflies. I was shocked to learn there was no team here already, and I thought it would be a great benefit to the school community,” Bolton said.
Butterfly catching is a relatively new sport not only in Darien but around the world. The thrilling game has recently begun to hit all parts of the United States through the work of committed players like John Bolton. However, there are millions who still have trouble even fathoming the sport’s rules and principles.
In a butterfly catching match between two opposing teams, the rules are simple but deceptively strict. Each team consists of five and only five players, and any substitutions or the use of additional competitors results in disqualification. The match is held on a wide open area of grassy land, such as a park or prairie field. Home games for the DHS team take place at Waveny Park, where there is a plentiful supply of beautiful butterflies. The equally ranked players from each team face-off against each other, beginning with the fifth seeds. After lining up behind a clearly marked, five cm wide, spray-painted white line, the starter’s gun is shot, effectively scattering the butterflies from the area. The competitors have 10 minutes to catch as many butterflies as they can, and they can travel anywhere they want. If, however, any player does not return within 10 minutes, the entire team is disqualified. After both players return, the butterflies are counted through an intense process. Each butterfly is worth 100 points, however the judge may add an additional 10 to 50 points depending on its beauty. After all players have competed, the total points are added up and as you might have already guessed, the team with the most points wins!
John demonstrating his leaping skills
Focused on his one true love of butterfly catching
