Mr. Woelker and a Shaman named Bob Inspire Dodgeball Club
NEIRAD enilno edition
UPDATE:Dodgeball enthusiasts have turned to philanthropy: The second annual DHS Dodgeball Tournament Fundraiser will be February 27th starting at 6 p.m. in the south gym. The tournament is open to all students and faculty at DHS. All Proceeds from this event will go directly to the Red Cross. Cost for the tournament is $5 dollars per player with each team having seven players. Teams must have uniforms and a team name. To register your team please see Coach Chase in his office, room D-13B located next to the boys locker room. If you don’t have a team and would like to play, Coach Chase can match you up with other players. The last day to register is February 21st.
Dodgeball has captivated millions of people across the world. Hearing the words dodgeball during PE brings delight to many adolescent souls. But for some, dodgeball is not just a game about hitting people with balls. For English teacher Mr. Eric Woelker, it’s a game of redemption and vengeance.
A long time ago in Africa, Mr. Woelker encountered a man that changed his life: a wise, native shaman named Bob.
“Bob told me that I would accomplish great things one day; magical things really,” Mr. Woelker said. But what ‘magical’ things? “Dodgeball.”
Everything changed when Mr. Woelker met Bob’s first-born daughter, the beautiful Victoria. Like Hercules however, Mr. Woelker had to prove his strength and to win the heart of the woman he loved. His first opponent? The Purple Cobras.
“I thought this was odd because the name of their tribe didn’t seem ‘African’ as the other names I had been hearing, such as Bob or Veronica, “he says. In the heat of the battle, Mr. Woelker managed to knock out four of the six players.
But, Mr. Woelker’s efforts were not enough. The opposing team executed the “peek-a-boo” tactic, a play that is unstoppable if run properly. But, as Mr. Woelker was being defeated, he saw an old man in a wheelchair shouting the five Ds of dodgeball: dodge, duck, dip, and dive. Unfortunately, Mr. Woelker was unable to learn the last of the five Ds.
“This was my motivation for starting the Dodgeball Club here at DHS, to hone my dodgeball skills to the level of godliness and to finally figure out what that last D of the five Ds was,” Mr. Woelker said. It is the only way for him to defeat the Purple Cobras and maybe one day, win the heart of Veronica.
The DHS Dodgeball Club is getting increasingly popular here, since it first began in 2007. Elite athletes from the entire school, from soccer players to baseball players, engage in this chaotic sport. The club usually meets Fridays in the South Gym for one hour from 2:30 to 3:30p. The players learn the game from Mr. Woelker who, armed with shaman’s Bob’s techniques, has become a veteran of the game.
“It’s really intense,” sophomore Christian Papic said. (Members of the dodgeball club know him as Ying)
“Yeah, it’s pretty hardcore,” sophomore Charlie Eisner said. (Members of the dodgeball club know him as Yang)
So, this is the story behind the DHS Dodgeball Club. And although Mr. Woelker is the head of dodgeball club, he is still a student of the game.
