First Comes Baby, Then Comes Marriage
Should teenage pregnancy lead to teen marriages?
NEIRAD enilno edition
When a scandal occurs such as a teen pregnancy in the life of the rich and famous the media is all over it. Here at Darien High School, stories about pregnant teens don’t tend fill the pages of Neirad. If something of that sort were to happen to a teen at DHS, a life changing decision would be placed upon the shoulders of someone who hasn’t even lived half of their life yet. Would they marry the father of their baby and thereby follow in the footsteps of teenage celebrities, such as actress Jamie Lynn Spears or Bristol Palin, daughter of John McCain’s Republican running mate, Sarah Palin? If a boy at the high school discovered that his girlfriend was pregnant, would he offer to marry her? And would she accept, or would she want to raise the child on her own?
We went through the busy halls of DHS asking female students from all grades whether or not they would marry the father of their child if they became pregnant. About 14% said yes, they would want to make the commitment to parenthood by first committing to marriage. While the students that answered yes took a couple of minutes to think over their decision, about 86% were quick to answer “no,” often commenting on the fact that they were way too young to be married. On the opposite side of the teenage spectrum, male students were asked if they would step up and offer to marry their pregnant girlfriend. 76% said no, they wouldn’t marry, but 24% seemed to think it was the right thing to do and answered yes.
While many boys expressed this opinion, sophomore Justin Shaw disagrees. “I would have to get married; I would just stick it out even though it might ruin my life.”
Some students questioned the legality of underage marriage. To clear up any confusion, here are the basic facts on marriage laws in the United States: In all but two states, the age requirement for a couple to get married without parental consent is 18. In some states, such as Delaware or Florida, teens who already have a child or who are expecting one are permitted to marry without their parent’s permission. This is not the case in Connecticut and parental permission is required with or without pregnancy. Regardless, it is legal to be married under the age of 18 as long as there is parental consent.
Boyfriend of Jamie Lynn Spears, Casey Aldridge, appears to have arrived at the same conclusion as the 24% of DHS boys as he did, what appeared to be, the responsible thing by becoming engaged to Jamie Lynn. However, shortly there after, he demonstrated that he could not handle the commitment and responsibility it takes to be a fiancé, let alone a father, by cheating on Jamie Lynn with a 28-year-old while Jamie was sixth months pregnant. This illustrates how immaturity can cause definite issues in a teenage marriage and fuels the controversy of marrying at such a young age. According to an article by Jacob Weisberg in Newsweek, nearly half the women who marry under the age of 18, whether because of pregnancy or not, divorce within 10 years. This is double the rate of those who wait until they are at least 25.
Teenage pregnancy and the question of marriage is a reoccurring theme in television shows. The new series, “The Secret Life of the American Teenager,” touches on this controversial issues such as abortions and sex before marriage as the main character, Amy Juergens is a teenage girl who becomes pregnant after an incident at band camp. When she returns home and tells her friends and family, she must live with the rumors, advice, and criticisms against her. Her new boyfriend, Ben, is persistent about marrying her and his dad supports this decision—even though the baby is not Ben’s. Amy’s mom, however, thinks that at 15, Amy is much too young to be married. It’s no coincidence how the controversy of teen pregnancy comes up in many shows, especially ones directed towards a teenage audience. The question is, how much influence do these shows have over their audience?
Since our anonymous polling didn’t tell us much about what DHS students would actually be thinking if they were put in the situation, we moved from the halls to the library to see what sort of opinions we could find.
Junior Andy Brewer said, “I think teen pregnancy is a terrible thing that no teenage girl should ever have to experience. It thrusts a responsibility upon teenagers that they are not prepared for.” On the marriage note Brewer said, “A couple has to be mature and responsible enough to take care of a child. They also need to be financially able to care for a child.” Brewer expressed emotion towards the negativity of teenage marriage and didn’t think marriage should just be the result of an unexpected pregnancy.
Abortion wasn’t a choice in our poll, however, many students, boys and girls, brought it up when being interviewed. Junior Sarah Nielsen said, “I would personally rather see teenage girls pregnant than having the alternative of abortion. Many women after they get abortions have post trauma stress disorder. I also think that girls should wait to have sex. I do think that it is a nice gesture of teen marriages because it makes up for the whole sex before marriage thing.” Nielsen is one of the few who right away disagreed with abortion. Most of the female students actually said they would get an abortion and wouldn’t respond yes or no to our poll. Male students as well said that they would suggest an abortion to their pregnant girlfriends.
Students also related the discussion to Jamie Lynn and Bristol Palin making a point that if either of them were to get an abortion, they would be attacked by the media and looked down upon. Bristol especially would be criticized as her mother has expressed strong opinions against abortions.
Whether in the lives of celebrities or in the halls of DHS, teen pregnancy is controversial in today’s society. There will never be complete agreement on how the matter should be dealt with. Opinions will continue to vary through generations. Perhaps the only answer is that it is a personal choice. However, it is a choice that should, hopefully, never have to be made.
